The doorway to the Boeing 737 felt like a portal to another world, leaving behind the precious dreams of my future, creating a pounding in my chest that killed the clarity of my thoughts. Mind pacing, breathing deeply, the jet door latched heavily behind me.
I was to marry in a few short months my best friend, the woman with whom I had committed my life. I can’t explain the anxiety or even what I was feeling, but for the first time in my life, I felt responsible for someone else. I had a tether outside of me. My new bride, who was left behind for these four days, had awakened a deeper sense of the world. The reality that she might have to deal with the possibility of me dying in a crash weighed heavily on me.
What was happening to me?
Why was I feeling these weird things?
Was I going crazy?
No, I was in love and feeling the gravity of what love meant to the normality of life. It was no longer about me, there was another life, another person, someone else’s dreams that mattered and I was an integral part of it. The idea of my actions impacting another… heavy.
The flight was four hours and felt like an eternal Groundhog Day in the sky. Landing, getting to my luggage, and taxiing to the hotel seemed better suited to a funeral procession than a celebration of a bright future. Arriving at the hotel I was underwhelmed with the glitz. The MGM Grand, its lights, sounds, and interests did little to drown the remnant of that emotional flight. There was little "Grand" about the whole experience at this point. I wanted to teleport back home.
After dinner, the rest of the team went out for drinks, watched some shows, and sought to lose their money on the tables. I won a few thousand dollars in card games, then lost it all. Fatigue set in and I found my room and grabbed my suitcase to get dressed for bed.
But then it happened.
As I opened the case, a small rectangle caught my attention, laid out as a museum piece on display for awe-filled eyes. This relic of glory, this foundation of hope, this reminder of beauty!
A NOTE!
My best friend in life had written me a small note on a small 3x5 page of her work notepad. It was simple, to the point, and placed right on top of my clothes. My heart zoomed! I felt like I was spinning in a revolving door between Narnia and reality, being in both places at the same time; with her, safe and satisfied.
James,
I really enjoyed staying in bed all day yesterday, we both needed the rest.
I love you and look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.Love,
Robyn
What this said has been overcome by what it is still saying.
Seeing her handwriting. Her signature flowed from the page into my soul… this was a permanent touch to a fleeting moment.
Folded.
Tucked behind my driver’s license.
There it remains since 1995.
This tiny note is a tangible reminder of the precious friendship we have and the love we share. It has reminded me of who I am no matter what I see in the mirror. It has kept me grounded and mindful of who my wife is and her amazing qualities. It reminds me of why I married this strong, confident, independent, person, who is also an amazing woman.
Long after I’m gone the truth of this note will be real. Nothing can change it, not even death. Friendship like this is worth the journey and hand-written monuments can speak to generations after we are long gone reminding others of what it represents.
Today, you may find yourself in a sea of shorthand quips, memes, and “kk’s” because we are all too lazy to type the ‘O’ in response. You may not enjoy letters or cards and have forgotten how even to form legible syntax on a piece of paper.
That small little note settled me and brought me the clarity I lost on the Boeing 737. Like the day of hanging out and napping, this little note brought my dreams to me again, again, again, and again. It helped me find comfort during an emotionally chaotic experience.
I love all connections in any form, but I cherish and relive the small and long notes given to me through the years. I have letters from myself, letters from my friends long gone, and letters from my kids before they married and moved out, and I love them. Let me encourage you.
Take some time to consider those most important to you right now. Make a list. Then get yourself some decent paper and write some thoughts, fold it up, and give it to them.
They won’t call law enforcement or the FBI, they will cry, savor the moment, and stuff the letter in a drawer with their most precious things. Yes, it could be overkill, but that’s why we have 3M’s wonderful sticky notes. Use them. Leave them to see, touch, feel, and engage with those you love.
You never know, you might grow deeper, closer, and more in love.
I love handwritten notes. I've been sending some lately. Great reminder!
That tangible reminder, those handwritten notes. Love the emotive imagery and writing James. I enjoy writing by hand but hardly ever write anyone anymore. Maybe it’s time to change that? Good writing! Thanks for your insight.