“Out of sight, out of mind.”
This phrase is used in many contexts. Sometimes it is used in marketing to emphasize the need to keep a brand or idea in front of people so they don’t forget about it. In my marketing days, we often spoke about “top-of-mind awareness” and that if something was always present that it would be more favorable by implication.
This is true for some things.
“The squeaky wheel gets the oil.”
Another pithy saying reminds us to either nag and be persistent to get what we want or to inform a sense of wisdom to be careful not to neglect the other wheels.
So, the flip side of everything is the other side of something. - I just made this up in an attempt to explain my frustration with VISIBLE mantras that are always among us.
Speaking of what I eat… I do not consume sugar if I can help it. Primarily, I don’t want to weigh 265 pounds like in the Spring of 2007. I’ll spare the details, I can write about that journey later.
The sugar.
I do like sweet things. Most of all, I like my coffee to have a bit of sweetness. So, years ago I began the practice of dicing every cup with two packs of sucralose. I buy it in bulk and have for years.
I was today years old when I discovered each packet of Splenda had a little motivational saying printed on one side. I’ve been buying this box for four years.
This baffled me. I pulled out a handful and sure enough, each one was different. A little message to remind me to keep my mind focused, my goals in check, a smile on my face, and a friend nearby. To think… I could have avoided an entire two years of despair had I just been paying attention.
Sarcasm aside, I was paying attention.
To myself.
To my mind.
To my pain.
And even had I seen these, I would have ignored them.
Other places in my house had a similar invisible presence: the bible verse over my door reminding me that the Love of the Lord never fails. Yet, I walked through this passage 37,000 times in two years and that truth never spoke to me.
My personal library consists of nearly 3,000 printed volumes with an estimated replacement cost of $60,000 that took almost 26 years to curate. Many of these books peer into the divine joy of a spiritual life amid suffering. Others literally teach the mechanics of thought and emotions and how to be healthy in them.
Further, my family around me is a constant reminder of the pure blessings of life. Friends telling me of the wonders of hope. My community seeking to assist. I saw none of it. No, when things are right in front of us, we often miss them. We are so busy looking for something else, something novel, something more powerful, that we step right over the answers.
So, top of mind - forgets… right in front - forsakes…
Unforgettable is what we’re looking for.
It’s what we’re looking to be for others and what we need to build in our own minds toward those around us. Sometimes, it takes death for the impact of people in our lives to become influential organically. We all love to be adored, admired, seen, loved, and desired. For those that love us, it’s a thrill to see us. When we are not around, we are missed, and those that love us long for the joy that comes with our arrival.
We need to figure out how to be unforgettable and be driven to see others in this way. Especially those who build us up, encourage us, and walk with us. We won’t be so inclined to ‘forget’ when we always see through this lens. (maybe the ambiguity is too much, but then, it may be exactly what I’m after here)
We can be demotivated to look for novel and different when what we need is right before us; a quiet reminder of hope. We can feel lonely when we are surrounded by others who care as we are self-consumed and in low places, or we are just having a bad season dreaming we had a different path; we need to rest.
We need to rest.
We need to rest.
Then open our eyes and see what is before us.
We don’t have to fix everything today. We don’t have to invest it all correctly. We don’t have to know it all eventually. We can be who we are, where we are, with whom we are. We need to shy away from constant platitudes and realize that our motivation has to come from within our values and dreams, fueled by the fires of intimate relationships that help us to believe in ourselves, remind us of who we are, and be honest when times are hard.
Then what to do…
We learn to lean into the ever-present love that so carefully exists in the air's delicate vapors. Our souls find the faint aroma of motivation that gets us to the next step, not the next mountain top. Then we are able to soar, carried sometimes by the breeze, but never losing sight of the ground where those around us stand to guide us home.
This is the motivation that we need to see and be very careful not to open the sweetness of each day blind to the subtle little notes that say, “Replace I wish with ‘I Will” and “Yes you can.”
The hearts of those who love you and give you this fire, spark, or push are your people. Find them, become like them, and live.
Be motivated by what you can’t see, but that you know is always there.
What do you think this says to you? What motivates you to thrive?