How a Doll Movie Broke Me
Tears of the soul in the sound of a purpose for the other half of humanity
"I want to be a part of the people that make meaning, not the thing that is made.” -Barbie
This essay needs no introduction. There exists no need to expound on the poignant force of this quote.
No setup.
No context.
No bs.
Think about this quote and let it sink deeply into the center of your mind… you can feel it. If you can’t, then you haven’t walked the journey of discovering who you are in the same manner as me. And that’s ok.
I feel a present urgency that is boiling under the surface, like the Earth’s core awaiting eruption, yet simultaneously resting with ultimate peace - before the fire. This urgency is a movement, starting in the minds of individuals around the world. Birthing awareness where there was once darkness, rousing the comatose into walking life, is the apparent trend related to authenticity, discovery, purpose, and peace.
The world in which we live is no longer guarded by the shackles and walls of customary niceties that hinder true self-expression. There no longer lies a root of silly rebellion that shows out for the sake of making noise. No, there is a movement and it is happening in every sector of life among every age group and in every corner of the globe.
People are waking up to the fact that they are prisoners of a much larger prison: the self-perception of an invisible audience that robs them of their happiness and robs them of their contentment.
In the last few years, I have teetered on the manifold seats of a seesaw that swings over a cliff. Raging against the current of my own desires blows a fierce wind from which I cannot escape. It takes my breath like falling, like being plunged into the depths. Resting at the bottom of this overwhelming power has engaged the ‘positive side of drowning’ and birthed a new creature inside of me ready to devour the artificial. The fake me, the created me, the person I had been for over four decades had to die. He had to drown in the truth; I was me and who I was didn’t depend on who others thought I was. [Mind the metaphors - I can’t help it, just reread them for clarity]
I have an ego. It’s hidden, it rarely informs me and it never directs me. It always cripples me. That ego, discovering this last year, prohibited me from publishing, writing, sharing, and finding contentment, because I didn’t want to be perceived as riding the waves of a trend or being inadequate or weak.
I absolutely hate trends.
I hate trends so much that I have often discarded clothes if I see someone else wearing a similar fashion. It’s a problem.
Sadly, this very thing is artificial; it’s a result of a lack of contentment, a lack of fulfillment - a lack of authenticity.
In this journey towards authenticity and shedding the artificial layers that once defined me, I've come to a stark realization: I have, knowingly and unknowingly, benefited from the very fabric of misogyny that blankets our society.
This admission is not easy, nor should it be. It's a reflection of the deep-seated privileges that, as a man, I've been accorded at the expense of women's voices, opportunities, and dignity. Acknowledging this is part of my truth, an essential step in confronting the ego and the artificial self. It’s about speaking up, not to overshadow but to shine a light on understanding, to step aside and champion the voices long silenced. It's about transforming privilege into partnership, leading by example to foster a world where I am not just an ally but a friend, a co-conspirator in dismantling the structures of oppression. True authenticity demands this of me; it compels me to use my voice, my platform, to advocate for change, not as a savior but as a supporter, someone who listens, learns, and acts in solidarity with the cause of equality and justice.
There are hundreds of these things I have discovered about me. Yet now, I am no longer concerned with how others may perceive my intentions or actions. I want to grow from the ground and blossom as a gift to the world around me, like a rose. Being a gift is often exclusive, few people will appreciate it, but for those who do, it is life-changing.
But this narrative of self-discovery and breaking free from invisible chains takes on a profound, yet shadowed dimension when we pivot our gaze towards the systemic silencing and invisibility inflicted upon women through the ages.
The journey towards authenticity and self-liberation cannot be fully embarked upon without recognizing the additional burdens borne by those who have faced the blunt force of misogyny—a force so pervasive, so normalized, that it has, in many ways, rendered the experiences and voices of countless women faceless and muted.
The quest for authenticity, purpose, and peace is universal, yet it is threaded with unique challenges for women who navigate a labyrinth designed by centuries of patriarchal imposition. Misogyny has not only leveled but erased the identities of many, pushing the female narrative into corners of obscurity and silence. It's a systemic darkness that consumes the light of potential, the light of being recognized as fully human and wholly individual.
As I emerged from the depths of my confrontation with the ego, the artificial, and the pressures of an invisible audience, I stumbled upon a crucial realization: my journey is but a single thread in the vast tapestry of human experience. For women, the journey entails battling against the tides of misogyny that seek to wash away their essence, their very right to self-define and to be seen and heard without filter or diminishment.
In this moment of collective awakening, where authenticity and truth-seeking surge like a tide against the shore, we stand at the precipice of change. It is time to ensure that the faces and voices of women—long stifled by the insidious grasp of misogyny—are brought into the light. Their stories, their truths, their battles, and triumphs must be acknowledged, celebrated, and integrated into the narrative of human progress.
To move forward, we must dismantle the structures that perpetuate silence and invisibility. We must listen, really listen, to the voices that have been pushed to the fringes, to the whispers that carry the weight of wisdom and resilience. This is not merely a call to action; it is a call to transformation—a transformation that begins in the heart of every individual and radiates outward, touching every life, every story, with the luminous glow of recognition and respect.
The time is indeed now.
For in recognizing and elevating the voices and faces of women, we do not just fight against misogyny; we weave a new narrative of human experience, rich in its diversity, unyielding in its strength, and boundless in its capacity for love and understanding. We find a way to see others bloom as a part of the people that make meaning, and in doing so, ensure that no voice, no face, is left in the shadows.
As we venture forward, propelled by the urgency to dismantle the edifices of misogyny, let us pause to imagine the essence of being a woman in a world that too often relegates her to a mere placeholder. Imagine navigating through life's vastness, grappling with the invisible chains that bind not just the body, but the spirit, the ambition, the very sense of self.
Imagine the relentless quest to prove one's humanity, to assert, against the howling winds of prejudice and diminishment, that one is not an adjunct to someone else's story, but the author of one's own epic.
Now, let us envision a new dawn. A world where every woman knows, deep in her bones, that she is more than just a placeholder in someone else's narrative. She is a whole person—complex, capable, and deserving of every opportunity to craft her destiny, to voice her thoughts, to fill her space in the world with the unapologetic essence of her being.
This is the future we must strive towards, not as passive onlookers but as active participants in a relentless pursuit of equality and justice. To be a part of this change is to recognize the intricate tapestry of human experience and to honor every thread, especially those that have been overshadowed and underestimated.
In this spirit of collective awakening and transformation, let us hold close the words of the poet, reminding us of the enduring strength and boundless potential that resides within each of us:
"I want to be a part of the people that make meaning, not the thing that is made.” -Barbie
In embracing this mantra, we commit to a world where every woman knows she is not just a placeholder or a part of another’s playground, but a vibrant, indispensable part of the human mosaic—a whole person, deserving of recognition, respect, and the unbridled freedom to be.
In penning 'What Good is A Woman?', I've embarked on a deeply personal journey, one that spans over two decades of introspection and collaborative reflection on the societal constructs of misogyny and sexism. This project, rooted in my experiences and enlightened by the stories of countless women, aims to unravel the complex web of biases that diminish a woman's worth to mere physicality. Through this exploration, I seek not to speak for women but to spotlight the systemic injustices that silence their voices and erase their identities. Join me as we venture beyond the surface, challenging ourselves to recognize and dismantle the subtle and overt forces that undermine women's agency and worth. Together, let's reimagine a world where every woman is seen, valued, and respected as the whole, vibrant person she truly is.
An introduction to my thoughts can be found here and here.
If anyone has a notion on how to rightly divide my mediums, voice, and platforms with the subjects I love, I’m all ears.